Recommended Reading

On meaning, existence and the work of therapy

• Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor E. Frankl. A psychiatrist’s account of finding meaning even in the worst of circumstances; one of the most quietly steadying books I know.
• Love’s Executioner — Irvin D. Yalom. Ten honest, humane stories from the consulting room, and a warm way into existential therapy.
• The Gift of Therapy — Irvin D. Yalom. Short reflections on what actually helps in therapy — as useful to clients curious about the process as to therapists.
• Existential Psychotherapy — Irvin D. Yalom. The deeper, more scholarly work, on how we meet death, freedom, isolation and meaning.
• Staring at the Sun — Irvin D. Yalom. On facing the fear of death, and how turning towards it can wake us up to living more fully.
• Reasons to Stay Alive — Matt Haig. A writer’s honest account of coming through depression and anxiety, and the small, real reasons that carry us. Hopeful without ever being glib.
• Lost Connections — Johann Hari. A searching look at the social and psychological roots of depression and anxiety, and reconnection as the real antidepressant.

On the self, worth and saying no

• The Myth of Self-Esteem — Albert Ellis. A bracing argument for unconditional self-acceptance over the fragile project of “high self-esteem.” A great, great book.
• Not Nice — Dr Aziz Gazipura. Warm, practical help for people-pleasers learning to set boundaries and stop apologising for taking up space.
• Self-Compassion — Dr Kristin Neff. The research-backed case for meeting yourself as you would a good friend — the natural companion to Ellis’s unconditional self-acceptance.
• The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown. On letting go of who you think you should be, and finding the courage to be seen as you are.
• Radical Acceptance — Tara Brach. Meeting yourself and your pain with mindfulness and kindness, in place of the inner critic.

On love, desire and relationships

• The Art of Loving — Erich Fromm. A short classic arguing that love is not a feeling we fall into but a practice we commit to — care, attention and discipline. Quietly steadying for couples and singles alike.
• Mating in Captivity — Esther Perel. On the tension between the comfort of lasting love and the space that desire needs to breathe. Compassionate, grown-up reading for long relationships.
• The Course of Love — Alain de Botton. A novel, threaded with insight, about what lasting love is really like once the romance of the beginning fades.
• Attached — Amir Levine & Rachel Heller. A clear, practical guide to attachment styles and why we love the way we do.

On anger

• Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames — Thich Nhat Hanh. A gentle, mindfulness-based way of understanding anger and meeting it with compassion rather than suppression.
• On Anger (De Ira) — Seneca. The Stoic’s clear-eyed essay on why anger is a kind of brief madness, and how to loosen its hold — a bracing complement to the mindfulness approach above.

Philosophy for living

• The Nicomachean Ethics — Aristotle. The enduring question of what a good and flourishing life actually is, and how character is built by practice.
• Thus Spoke Zarathustra — Friedrich Nietzsche. On creating your own values and meeting life, difficulty and all, with a wholehearted “yes.”
• The Consolations of Philosophy — Alain de Botton. Six philosophers on six of life’s difficulties — from unpopularity and frustration to a broken heart — and the comfort each still offers.

Stoicism, ancient and applied

• Meditations — Marcus Aurelius. The private notebook of a Roman emperor steadying himself each morning; two thousand years on, it still reads like a handbook for keeping your head.
• Letters from a Stoic — Seneca. Warm, practical letters on anxiety, grief, time and how to live — the Stoic tradition at its most human.
• The Enchiridion (The Handbook) — Epictetus. A short, bracing manual on the one freedom no one can take from us: how we choose to meet what happens. Much of what CBT later rediscovered begins here.
• The Practicing Stoic — Ward Farnsworth. A clear, beautifully organised tour through what the Stoics actually said, theme by theme — perhaps the best single modern guide to putting Stoicism to use.
• The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy — Donald Robertson. Draws the direct line from Stoic practice to modern CBT — how these ancient exercises became tools we still use in the room today.

On anxiety, mood and CBT

• Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy — David D. Burns. The classic, practical introduction to cognitive therapy for anxiety and low mood — a natural companion to The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy.

On trauma and the body

• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk. The landmark modern account of how trauma reshapes body and brain — and the many paths back to feeling safe and whole.

On mindfulness and attention

• Full Catastrophe Living — Jon Kabat-Zinn. The foundational guide to mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), and to meeting stress, pain and illness differently.
• Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion — Sam Harris. A clear-eyed look at mindfulness and the nature of the mind, with no requirement to believe anything.
• The Power of Now — Eckhart Tolle. A hugely popular invitation to step out of anxious rumination over past and future and back into the present moment. Take what is useful and leave the rest.
• 10% Happier — Dan Harris. A sceptical news anchor’s funny, down-to-earth account of coming to meditation after a panic attack live on air. A reassuring way in for anyone wary of the word “mindfulness.”

This list grows over time. These are personal recommendations offered for interest and reflection; they are not clinical or medical advice, and no book is a substitute for support from a qualified professional. If you are struggling right now, please see the help lines at the foot of this page.